Late Night Rubbish

It's late and I can't sleep. I ran to the store and bought some smokes. I got a lot on my mind, which means I'm smoking like crazy. I'm still cold and my eyes hurt. [Rubs her eyes]. I had pizza for dinner...its was okay. Been working on my paintings. So far they are coming together nicely. [Yay!]

Noticed I've not only avoided laundry today, but also my bedroom. [Not sure why though] Atleast I paid some bills earlier this morning. Not really feeling the Christmas spirit this year. Saw a squirrel steal an acorn from my yard and dart across my drive way like a ninja. I wonder if that's the same squirrel that has been stealing acorns from my yard all these years. [Sneaky ninja squirrel]

Found a sock that belonged to him under my bed. I just threw it back under there to be honest, which is what I always do when I find that damn sock. What am I suppose to do? Wash it and give it back? [Teehee]

Learned that faking a smile is hard work. Noticed I've been smothering myself in a blanket that he gave me two years ago. It's kind of weird...I can't sleep without it. It's not very large but it keeps me warm. Plus I can still smell him on it.

May pop a benadryl or a sleep aid in a few. Not sure...I should smoke on it [insert smoke break]. Realizing that so far I have not spent my four day weekend the way I was hoping. I guess I have one more day to try to be productive.

Wish more of my closer friends lived closer. Wish my Monkie [my dog] was still alive. Maybe milk will help me fall asleep...maybe not. Guess I'm going to lay down and stare at my wall. Hopefully I won't cry myself to sleep this time.