just when you think you have it all figured out, life throws you a curve ball. my emotions are like a equalizer trying to keep up with the music playing in my head and the beat of my heart. one minute i'm up and the next minute i'm lost again. i want to be alone but i reach out for anyone who is willing to care, but everyone seems so far. maybe they don't see the pain in my eyes...maybe they can't hear the pain in my voice...maybe they don't care...maybe they don't know how to console me.
i use all my energy to make those around me have a good day, because it makes me forget my own problems for that moment.
a good friend once told me "we carry pieces of other peoples souls around with us so long that eventually they just become a part of us. each love is a little something lost, a little something gained. never really broken, never truly whole". i don't feel like i've gain anything this time around. i feel like i've lost so much of me. i don't feel close to anyone right now. i know i have a friend or 2 that is willing to hear me out, but i don't feel like they would understand, plus they deserve a break.
i wish someone would just put me out of my misery. i'm just tired of feeling, thinking, and crying.
i hate myself for caring so much. i may not be as open when it comes to helping random people like you are, but i care 110% for those who have earned my love and my friendship.
words without meaning, people without hearts, empty love...what has happened to world? what has happened to humanity?
loyalty,dedication, ambition, honesty, communication, respect, love, reverie and compassion....words i've tried to live my life by...words that no longer have meaning to me.
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